I wonder how those people working without the aircon?How they adapt and survived.As for people like me,who have been used in working in an aircon when suddenly the aircon gave way…don’t even say 2 days…1 day itself is enough to make me sweat like hell.
Imagine when the fan is blowing behind me but I still sweat?What does that proves?

But again,I wonder how does the person incharge don’t even realised that the pump ok let’s talk about 1 pump then spoilt,why does the person does not get it repaired and have to wait for the 2 pumps to spoil then get both repaired?Make people suffer not 1 day but a week.Taking their responsibilities seriously or just for the fun of it?

Whatever happened,the aircon is back to normal and all of us can work peacefully and happily…

How I wish I could turn back time.There will be so many things for me to ammend in my life.How I wish this and that did not happen.Yes,I know..it is a matter of choice.I chose it and I should lead it.

Sometimes things happened for a reason.But at times,we could only regret on what,why,who,where it happened?Why me,why this,why that…At the end of the day,we could only realised what we choose,that is the life we have to lead.

Only thing I could do now is to sit and visualise of what I should choose to change…just hope life will be a better one for me in  2011.More money,more happier and of cos find a soul mate…hahaha

Few days back was talking to Diva when she suddenly asked about froggy,used to be one of my good friend.Now no longer.I have already discard her from my life even in my contact list.Soon is my FB,will remove her from there.I don’t lose anything if  I have no contacts with this type of people.Diva understand how I feel but she also don’t want to say so much.I already told her upfront that I will just ignore froggy on Hana(her daughter who is also my god daughter) birthday party this Saturday.

Next is those idiots in my working place.When I say those people,I am refering to those old timers.As usual,the nyonya is a real pain in the ass.She is sucking my blood.She got the cheek to tell people off about not knowing to do their job.Then she know ar?Hello,you yourself also don’t know how to do your job despite you have been working here for damn fucking years,yet you yourself? And I get most pissed off when she start to talk to her other “kakis” in the workplace about her maid not knowing how to do her work well etc.She need  a BIG mirror to place infront of her before telling her maid what to do.

Next is the pampered woman in my department.Let’s called her PW.She got this one kind of attitude that I really get very pissed off!She is not in talking terms with MA by all means is her problem lah.But why must your damn fucking attitude to me.With that hearless and brainless character you have plus the stuck up face that I just feel like punching!Real attitude!I don’t step on your tail,by all means you don’t ever step on mine.If not,you are sure asking for it.

MA is another fickle minded heavy ass.Now that she have a bf and so called that confirm getting married next year.She been talking on the phone and kept reporting strength on what she do as small matter as buying food in the canteen…?Why the hell you need to do that?I get pissed off is not because I jealous but I was talking to you halfway but yet you can dial your bf no and tell him that you are buying your lunch?WTH?Talk finish to me first before calling your hubby lah.And told me about not going for the farewell dinner this Friday.You are the one who wants to eat at that place and we managed to change it and now you say you not going?Reason due to need to clean your house?Hello….you can always do it weekends like you normally did.Easy say…when there’s a will,there’s a way.

I was queieng at NTUC White Sands to pay for the groceries that I had bought since I am already there.Thought of just going to NTUC near my place which is the West Plaza.Think that incident  might not happened if I were to go there earlier on.

The queue was already a long one which took me almost 15mins(consider this is the longest timing)to get my groceries being scanned and paid for it in any NTUC Fair Price. Then came this moroon who simply just came infront of me and proceed to the cashier.I was like &%^& …what the hell man?

I quickly went over to her and say “Auntie,can’t you see I am queieng here?And you just simply cut the queue?”
She just remain silent and proceed for her payments.I was getting more frustrated with her ignorance.
The worst part is the cashier can also took her things and scanned in order to make her pay for it. I was like…???Shouldn’t it supposed to be my turn?But how come the cashier can even ignore me there and proceed with the moroon payments?The moroon just walked away without even say sorry.She is a real bloody pain the ass,I tell you.

That part already boiled my blood up.Never mind,knowing myself….I will just be angry that moment and forget about it.So,there I went to Mac Donald’s bought my favourite chocolate milk shake,drinking it with a smile and enjoying it.

Walking towards the bus interchange to board bus no 359 going home.I was talking to my sister (Wani a.k.a LB) about a new game that I just download via iPhone.Telling her how the game played and there we were in another queue to board the bus.

Thought it won’t be another bad incident.So,just queue patiently for the bus.5 mins later the bus came.As I walked towards the bus,at the end of the junction,that moroon appeared again and there she jumped into my queue and boarded the bus again.I was really growing MAD this time and I was till LB knows that I was pissed off  that she don’t dare to sit with me.

She sat behind where I sat in the middle just behind that moroon.I purposely talk out loud.I did not bother about the crowd in the bus.I think there are about half in the bus sitting.

Me(purposely talk out loud):Wa liao!Some humans are really damn idiot!Cut queue already don’t know how to say sorry or worst pretend nothing happened.Guess she never got to school or perhaps no parents to teach her the basic courtesy lor.
Moroon:Excuse me,are you scolding me?
Me:You think who I am scolding then?
Moroon:But you can’t say like that scolding me and get my parents included etc…
Me:Oh…you know the meaning of angry?(By now,my tone already high)Then,why in the hell you cut my queue?Why can’t you at least say excuse me or what?
Moroon:But you can’t simply scold me like that?(getting frustrated with the look that I gave her)
Me:Do I care?If you yourself don’t even bother to say sorry,why must I even bother to think before I scold you?Who the hell you think you are?Even old people also know how to queue at times!
Moroon:But you got no right to scold me like that,gal!(her tone becoming louder)
Me:(Even louder)Then next time don’t cut queue lor!Singapore is a country full which pratice courtesy but idiots like you spoilt the market!Moroon you!
Moroon:(start scolding me in chinese)then take her things preparing to alight.
Me:Really lor..! Only idiots scold a person in a language which another person don’t understand.Otak bodoh makan babi!

Moroon alight 3 bus stops away before me.

By the time I alight,LB then come after me.She was telling me that the people in the bus were looking at me only.People angry already where got time to notice the surroundings,she ar…

Just a bad encounter for me that afternoon.Too bad,we are living in the world where we are being surrounded by idiots at times.

I do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing?But I have to admit,yes my heart feels empty and no one knows.It kind of hurt me alot when my sis kept saying about her fiancee and my mum kept talking about her son in law to be.I was even telling my mum that no worries I am ok with them talking about my sis fiancee(BM) but I can’t deny myself that I felt hurt with it whenever I faced them…hiazz…

At times,I just wonder if I will be able to have my happiness…?when?With who?Wondering why when I like that someone,it’s either the guy already attached,married or he not interested or even worst when my love was poured all to him,but was being hurt.Why when I being  honest,but I was cheated.And yes,I am talking about MC here.

I met MC’s sister on Tuesday night at Giant.We talked for awhile.Although MC is closed to his sister,he did not tell her sister why he cheated on me.He only told her that “Lina is not meant for me.” WTF??? Then what are we doing for the 2 stupid years?You did not even explained to me why you do that but you just give that simple answer?What are you trying to prove?Well,I know…I may not have the looks that you wanted ,the body that you wanted and that is why you have never put our photos over the net.Giving the fact,you are embarrased to even show me to your friends?It’s ok,I know and I jolly well know that you are such a bastard idiot who do not entitiled to be in my heart!And I really regret knowing and get along with you and yes that is the fact!!!

God is Great and He know what is the best for me.
Insya’allah….
Overall,I redha dan pasrah…

As normal,me and SL will exchange emails regarding what’s happening everyday etc. That’s the least we can do to make sure that we still keep in touch.For now,SL is the only gal friend that I will want to make sure that I keep in touch with no matter what.I must say she is the one who so far understand me well and of cos at times I do give her headache(normal lah for me)but she still treasure my friendship and I will of cos unless when comes the day she tell me that she no longer want to be friends with me lah.That’s why I know that I always have her to count on to share my happiness and sorrows.

At the same time,Maybelline,Parrot and me were exchanging emails talking about tomorrow public holiday and what to do etc.Parrot was saying that got to do somethin like hang out under the void deck when I told him better not cos we young ladies and young men don’t do that any longer as that only happened during our past…hahaha…oh ya….he was also mentioning about him being FAT due to the food that he consume lately.Maybelline was like …???? if that he called FAT then how about Maybelline herself..? I told Parrot off that he is not FAT but he has put on weight that’s for sure.Sometimes I don’t understand Parrot character.He is a weird guy.Salute the gal friend who can endure his nonsense….lol

Anyway,before the day ends,I wanna wish all the Muslims a Selamat Hari Raya Haji.Can’t wait to have feast at home later…Ketupat,here I come…!

I just wonder why are those type of people,whom I mean idiots around me.
Just because they are elderly,or should I say older than me behave like one damn small kid?
You want a respect from me when you yourself  not giving any respect to me?Why?Because you are an elderly and I have to respect you first?Please lah ,it will not happen to me.You can go to hell with your “so -called” principle ya.I don’t give a damn to you.

Here I am talking about one of my colleague let’s call her Nyonya(Ah-Soh).
She is far old who I should respect her like a mum due to her age but please,she don’t deserve any respect from me.
We had a misunderstanding and she had made herself clear on not talking to me.Fine,it goes just fine with me,old auntie.
The reason is cos she wants me to respect her and say sorry to her?Did I hear wrongly?Oh please! God,why do you give me such colleague?She’s fucking sucking my blood everyday!

I tried to avoid her but her damn fucking bloody mouth is so LOUD that the whole dept can hear her.Just because she is the eldest amongst us,doesn’t mean she can shout as and when she like?She will shout to the technicians,the shop managers and even to most of us working there.
My manager ever asked her why she must talked so loud or rather shout at people.And you know what she can answer?
“My voice is like that one mah,from day one is like that what.Where got shout?”
Oh well! When it comes about work,you will shout at people as if people owe you money.But when come to personal stuffs,you can talk so softly on the phone as you don’t want others to hear you right?
You are just one damn fucking asshole that’s all I can say.
And as for me,I had enough of you and I won’t talk to you unless work matters.Other than that,you have never exist in my eyes!
Monday blues start- with an assehole shouting around in the department making my ears burst!

One of my friend said that perhaps I have “alot of stories” in my head which I did not let go and lead to this unable to sleep at night.I know what he meant by that.But…I don’t see myself facing any “stories” in my life at the moment.As far as I am concern,everything is doing just fine.

But I do admit that I have been thinking alot…thinking of so many things which is happening in my life now.What is good?What is bad?Is it ok?Is it not etc…I tried myself not to think too hard about this and that but I just can’t help it.Certain things just need to be think hard,hard enough.

Sometimes I wish that I were back to schooling time where I just need to study and be home and play with my friends.

Well,guess this is part of life…

You have changed.You are not Lina that I used to know months back or even year back.You are too engrossed in your working life that you don’t even bother about yourself.If you don’t even bother about yourself,how to even bother about others especially the one that you love?You must love yourself in order to love others isn’t it?(sounds familiar though…hmm)

And when someone who I loved said something like that,it affect me not little but much…perhaps I didn’t realise the changes in myself.
Sigh….

How can someone love the person when he/she don’t even care about his/her feelings isn’t it?At least try to put yourself in the person’s shoes when you want to say something that will hurt the person down deep inside.Maybe the person don’t show but if it were to happen to you,will you accept it?Will you wonder if the person who you love even got love you or not,right?I’m not trying to find trouble or what here,just want to lay out my thoughts…

hmmm…life of a relationship sure have ups and downs.But depends on the couples how to tackle the problems.In a relationship,it’s not a one sided love but you need 2 hands to clap…..

Even MC was shocked to hear that my family is just like other families who have problems faced and we are having difficult time to “clean” the problems.

I do not want to elaborate any further about this.Only people who are close to me like SL and MC will know about what my family facing.Even my bestfriend,Diva do not know as much as the other 2 important people in my life knows.Certain things are not meant to be shared even if she/her is my bestfriend.

Recently,what happend in my family makes me envy my other friends family like Diva,SL and even MC.Do you know how the world seems to be when your own mother don’t want to talk to you?I just feel like in hell.At home,even it’s my own home,I was being treated like stranger.Do my own washing,cleaning or whatever I want to do on my own.

Do you know how envy I was when I was sick,but none of my family members bother about me.Doesn’t even bother to offer if I want to eat or what.Just leave me alone being sick…and worst I feel more sick than ever staying at home.But when Tiger Lily had an operation,she was being treated like “God”?It’s not that I want to compare or what but why must have this kind of treatment amongst the siblings?Am I not your daughter?Or maybe I am just a daughter who was being “picked” by the rubbish.

And when my clothes that I had washed were not being hang to dry but other’s were hang to dry?Why can’t I even cook in my own house?Why can’t I eat at home?All this questions have been lingering in my head for long…

Can’t remember exactly when this started and wonder when will all this ends?At times,I just feel that I was not born to this family if I were to be treated this way.You know how I feel everyday when  I get home and people in the home were just don’t bother about my presence at home?But when I am at home,there is for sure something to be picked on to find fault on me.Why?

And you know how I felt when my own parents said this remarks of asking me to get married faster and get out of the house and follow my husband?You know how hurt I was?Why everytime,we quarell,this kind of remarks must be thrown to me?Why can’t I say my point of view?Must I keep quiet all the while?Just listen to what my parents got to say and abide of what they say although I know it is wrong?But they always claimed that I am being rebelious for not listeningto them?Yes,I know that but I am big enough to say think what is right and wrong isn’t it?

I am turning 28 this year but my parents still treat me as if I am still a school kid.Why?I also need my own freedom what.Need to spend my life outside too and can’t expect me to just sit at home isn’t it?Well,it’s not as if I am going back late every night anyway.

Of what has been happening to my life with my family…makes me don’t feel like going home.But I have no choice but still have to go home isn’t it?And that’s why I will find every single kind of reasons just to go home late.I know it’s not healthy this way but at least it’s better rather than I quarell every time I go home isn’t it?I rather spend my time outside cos it’s make my life more relaxed and chilled.

Whatever it is….blood is still thicker than water….